I'm sad tonight...

My cousin Laura died last night.

She babysat me when I was really young and we were very close when I was little. In the last few years, life has taken us apart, but just a month ago, she came by my house and gave me a beautiful blue glass rose, in honor of my daughter, whom she said, had always stuck in her head as 'Val's blue rose'... to those of you who don't know off the top of your head, 'Cyan' is a beautiful vibrant blue. Thus is named my daughter and why I am 'bluerosemama' pretty much every where online. Well, she saw this rose, bought it, and knew she had to connect with me last month. We had spoken at holidays, and sometimes the summers, but really, we hadn't met one on one for 8 years or so.

She always had a special place in my heart from those early years. I remember the 4Th of July she spent with us especially (It was a memorable one. My dad lit the field of grass next to our house on fire. I was 5 or so). Some of the memories, I am sure come in the form of pictures I have seen, but others... The feeling of her hands on my shoulders. Riding on her back down the driveway. The way her white/blond hair was feathered and how it felt when she hugged me goodbye. How she helped me learn to ride a bike, and the year she helped blow out my birthday candles. You can't really take photos of moments like that. They stick in your mind, and sometimes in your heart.

What makes someone look you up after years of barely talking? I don't know, but I am really glad she did.

I will remember her well. And fondly.

I am sad.